Angels I believed
by Artemisdesari
Summary: Part 6 of the Hand of Sorrow verse. Everything goes wrong, for Dean, for Cas, especially for Sam. NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_I'm back, I would say that a hectic real life is my excuse here, but I don't like making excuses (even if three family members had birthdays in the space of the last week). That said, real life is still insane, so updates here will be a little scatty. Bear with me, I have a point and a plot that I am working towards (actual plot now, be afraid.) This is unbeta'd, I'm looking it over, but any mistakes are all mine._

_The lyrics at the beginning and end are from Angels by Within Temptation._

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own either song or show, the song is for artistic borrowings and inspiration, the boys are also being borrowed for artistic purposes, I promise to give them back to Kripke only mildly damaged._

Angels (I believed)

_**Sparkling Angel, I believed  
**__**You are my saviour in my time of need  
**__**Blinded by faith, I couldn't hear  
**__**All the whispers, the warnings so clear**_

Katie is beginning to wonder if she made a mistake when she decided to do this, to trawl the country living off fake credit cards and desperation. Demons have dogged her every move, some towns have been hastily abandoned only hours after arrival, towns that she dare not return to for months incase the demons are waiting. She hates the running, the constant moving, wants to settle in just one place and rebuild her life, cannot even begin to _think_ about it until the Apocalypse is averted.

She could have stayed with Ellen, knows this even though Ellen's daughter, Jo, had come back from her own hunting trips with scars and stories. It is not the she does not _like_ Ellen, the security that living in a bar often filled with hunters offers, it is simply that she can no longer abide sitting in idle there while the world ends around her ears. Still, she no more wants Paradise and the rule of angels than the Winchesters do. They need to find a way of stopping it, of shutting Lucifer back into his cage and resetting the seals that were broken. So far she has found nothing, is running out of ideas, places to look and people to turn to, has never done this before anyway so not sure what she had really expected to achieve.

The car she is driving is old, has certainly seen far better days, and it is one that Dean helped her to get from his friend Bobby. Just as the rust bucket she is driving is far from the sort of car she would normally chose and the fake credit cards are something she would not have considered using, this whole course of action is unusual, a remnant of Seraphiel floating around inside her she assumes. Katie has always been one to either hide from her problems and hope they fix themselves, _Richard_, or run from them and hope that they do not catch up with her, Richard, being a vessel to an angel, the general events of her life for the last six years. So the very fact that she is actively looking for a solution, driving across the country searching for it shows how much the situation has affected her.

When she finally reaches a town, she nearly drives straight through it without stopping, knows she needs to, does not want to. There are memories here, in this little town that is a small collection of houses, a few shops and the church. That church is a simple white building, one that she remembers vividly from her visits years ago, before Richard, before her father died. She is stopping the car and parking outside the church before her brain completely catches up with her body, parking and getting out of the car to go into the building.

To her dismay there is no sense of peace here, no feeling of forgiveness and hope, just a room devoid of feeling and warmth and she seriously considers throwing her head back and screaming, all the words of her anger and frustration and impotent fury at the unfairness of the universe and God's plans for them.

"Katie?"

SPN

Lucifer is frustrated, although the former Lightbringer feels that the word 'frustrated' does not quite cover how he is feeling at this particular moment. He has been out of his cage for a little over three months now, has already burnt through five vessels, should not be surprised that his children have failed in even that simple task, is disgusted at the fact that he even needs to consider using such a thing to walk the Earth. What he wants to be doing at this precise moment is laying waste to humanity, slaughtering the so called favoured children of God and walking among them shining as brightly as he once had when he had dwelt in the great halls of Heaven.

To walk among the humans in his true form, to hear their screams as he burns the very eyes from their skulls, screams that had become his one source of entertainment in all the millennia he had been trapped in the deepest pits of Hell, his cage suspended above a pit of nothingness that stretched on for all of eternity, absorbing light and sound, thought and movement, all things flowed into it, nothing had ever come out, he should know, he has spent a great deal of time watching it, nothing ever came out until Lucifer himself. He has no intention of going back.

Still, he has his needs, one of them being a vessel that will not disintegrate over time from the merest touch of his tarnished grace within them, is unable to explain to his children exactly what it is that he needs in a vessel, does not need it to be willing, just warm, alive, aware of what he is so that he can take pleasure in their torment. He needs to win, needs that power, needs to finally prove to his Father that he was right, that the humans deserve every moment in Hell for their vile sins and destructive natures. His armies have grown strong since his imprisonment, he intends to use them to the fullest.

For the past month he has had them looking for something important, more important even than a vessel that contain him. They have been looking for the Winchesters, for _Dean_ more specifically, Lucifer intends to know as much about him as possible before facing him in battle, has gathered information from his followers about the man, his weaknesses, his strengths, his _sins_ and needs. He knows that Dean does not have a chance of defeating him, wants to make certain of that, is going to use Dean's main weakness against him, which is where finding _both_ of the brothers came in. Not an easy task when they are carrying around bags of ancient magic but one that his children has finally managed. The brothers have been found, there is only one snag in his plan, but Lucifer is certain that he can take possession of the younger without drawing attention to himself.

He is careful, slipping into Sam, laughs at the tattoo against possession, feels the power of it caressing him like the touch of a long lost lover. It may be excellent at keeping out demons, even those that were once numbered among his brethren, cast down and fallen from grace into fire and agony, demonised by Heaven itself. Lucifer has suffered no such pain, no such torment, he may be darkened, blackened and dulled by the eternal agonies of Hell, but he is an angel still, fiery, whole, terrible in grace and wrath. Pride and hatred have tainted him and just as the tattoo cannot stop him, nor can the blood of Azazel, one of his favoured children, prevent him from entering and using Sam as his own, it cannot stop the darkness that fills him, the tainted power that he commands.

Still, he is not careful because he is worried that Sam's body will reject him, or that his will is strong enough to fight him off, because there is no human in the world who is able to stand against all of the things that Lucifer has to offer, all of the sins. The demon blood that is still a part of Sam's body makes it almost perfect for Lucifer's uses, almost but he doubts that he will find one with what he needs, if a child of Sam's calibre is rare, a mortal body that would be strong enough to survive the internal death of one of his former brethren would be nigh on impossible. He will make do with what he can find. The reason that he is careful is the tame angel who is tethered to Sam and Dean, the angel who is also touched by darkness, by sin, by _Hell_ itself and that interests Lucifer. It interests him enough that he had blanketed his presence for a few days just to observe him. To watch Castiel, an angel low enough in the ranks that he had never really noticed him before his fall.

Interesting indeed.

Even though Lucifer abhors this, the need to take a vessel just so that his children, his minions, can see and hear him, there is something a little relaxing about taking a place in a meat suit, curling his being into this tiny carrier and infusing it with all that makes him great, does it when Sam has gone out alone in the dead of night while Dean sleeps and Castiel watches, does whatever it is that he does while the humans slumber their short, _pathetic_, lives away.

He flexes muscles that are now his to command, tilts and twists the head and feels the heart beating, feels the mind of Sam scrabbling against his intrusion and shuts it down with barely a thought and a flash of smug satisfaction at the ease of it. Now that this body is _his_ he has _options_, this one will not fall apart on him like the others have, he could take it, begin the Apocalypse properly, summon the Horsemen to his side but for one thing, _two_ things really, that hang over his head, Dean Winchester and Castiel.

The Righteous Man and his angel, both of whom will kill Lucifer given half the chance. He could kill them now, _both_ of them, while Dean sleeps and Castiel is unaware of this change, this development, but if there is one sin that Lucifer is still guilty of, above all else, it is _pride_. He _could_ kill them now, but he does not _wish_ to. He wants to see how far he can really turn his falling brother, how devoted Dean really is to Sam, to show his former brethren that their weapon is simply a man, weak, pathetic and fatally flawed.

So he returns to the motel room, opens the door and slips in, using the skills that have come with this body of Sam's rather than the dark grace he would normally use, acutely aware that if he _does_ use it, Castiel will more than likely sense his presence, cannot risk that. He is almost relieved to see the sliver of light under the closed bathroom door, something that tells Lucifer where Castiel is even if he cannot guess at the reason for it, still knows that he has to be quick. Near silent feet cross the room and he perches on Dean's bed, taking extra care not to jostle him, pulls a knife from the top of Sam's boot and cuts a wrist, watches the blood trickle into Dean's open mouth and sees green eyes flash open. He smiles and behind him the bathroom door is unlocked.

_**I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door**_

_**There's no escape now,  
No mercy no more.  
No remorse cause I still remember**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review_ _that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	2. Chapter 2

_Here we are, part two and this one looks like it is going to turn into a bit of a monster, I'm sorry, it's hard to write, but it's not hard, if you follow me. If you don't... it's difficult to explain._

_**The smile when you tore me apart.  
You took my heart,  
Deceived me right from the start.  
You showed me dreams,  
I wished they'd turn into real.  
You broke a promise and made me realize.  
It was all just a lie**_

Castiel sighs and unfolds himself from the chair, stretching out muscles that have cramped from several hours of disuse and too long in an uncomfortable chair. Part of him wishes that a long with the strange diminishment of his grace, sleep had been a part of his new life, because at least that way he could also slumber away the time that the Winchester boys stay asleep. He cannot, has attempted it and found lying on his back with his eyes closed incredibly unstimulating.

Most nights he simply reads, waits until Dean and Sam are asleep, although many nights Sam simply waits until Dean goes to sleep and slips out when he thinks that Castiel is not looking, uncomfortable around him even after everything that they have all been through and Castiel finds that he does not blame him. It is hard, however, to be so completely cut off from his family and friends and not have another to converse with into the long night, if just so that he can keep the increasingly terrible memories away, so that he can stop dwelling on the past and keep his mind in the present, in finding a solution to their problem.

So he reads, ancient texts and heavy tomes and most of them he can read by the dim light of the street lamps outside, his eye sight still being that of an angel it would seem, but tonight the book he reads is older than usual, is thicker and more faded and he finds that even with unnaturally good eye sight, he cannot reliably make out the text. He takes the tome into the bathroom, aware that Sam slipped out several hours ago but not yet concerned enough to risk waking Dean, the harsh light making the characters on the page stand out, stark against the age coloured paper.

Truthfully, he used to find a measure of enjoyment in reading, perusing the writings of mankind and using it to form some tiny level of understanding of them, but even then he had been a warrior, first and foremost, above all things, and it had been something that he had only managed to do on occasion. Reading is rapidly losing it's appeal.

The soft click of the motel room door alerts Castiel to the return of the wayward younger brother and he grunts in satisfaction for a moment, until something else registers on a level on his consciousness, that the presence is something _wrong_, something alien and familiar all at once, light and dark and _tainted_. It makes him understand why humans would use that bizarre term describing their blood running cold, because that is exactly how he feels right now and it causes him to lay the book to one side.

When he opens the door he sees Sam leaning over Dean on the bed and the dark stain of blood on his wrist. Castiel takes a step forward, hears Sam whispering soothing, dark, words to Dean, laying a free hand on his head, holding him in place and Castiel can _feel_ Dean's fear as though it is his own, because it _is_ his own. He closes the distance, tries to wrench Sam away and is surprised when the younger man backhands him hard enough to fling him against the flimsy motel wall across the room, hears Dean moan his name, confused, as he tries to struggle off the bed, fighting against a hand that belongs to Sam-who-is-not-Sam as he is pushed back down again, eyes unfocused and a drop of crimson at the side of his mouth, a drop that the creature holding him down thumbs into his mouth almost lovingly.

"Hush, Dean," 'Sam' purrs. "Just relax, let it take you."

"Sam?" Dean is afraid, confused and Castiel knows without a doubt now that this is not Sam, knows that this is someone else as Sam smooths Dean's hair back and plants a comforting kiss on his hairline. It all feels wrong, so wrong, and Castiel reaches for the sword that lies so close, and yet so far away. "I would not do that, little brother," Sam murmurs.

"Lucifer," Castiel hisses the name, continuing to reach for the blade and his former brother laughs, the sound chilling, harsh, a sound that is _not_ Sam's laugh, gestures with the hand that is not on Dean's chest, the hand that is now only stained with the remnant of blood, and the sword shifts away from him.

"I could kill him, you know," Lucifer muses, Dean is still now, his breathing rapid, stuttering, Lucifer trailing Sam's hand along his chest, turns to Castiel long enough to smirk at him, the light of his darkened grace shining behind brown eyes that were once filled with warmth. "Stand up, Dean," he commands, steps away and watches as Dean clumsily gets to his feet. "But you see, Castiel, where is the fun in that. Look at him, a slave to the blood I have given him, controlled by the grace an angel, even one as blackened as I."

"Then why do you not do it?" Castiel demands, getting to his feet but keeping his distance, not sure what will happen if he gets too close.

"Because I do not need to," he gestures and Dean crosses towards Castiel, the angel can see warring emotions in the man's eyes, Dean is not completely unaware of what is happening, "and because if I control him, I control you and I have uses for you, Castiel."

SPN

At the sound of her name, Katie turns and looks at the one who would intrude on her private agonies, sees a man that she had never dared to believe she would have the opportunity to see again.

"Norman?" The man has salt and pepper hair, not as thick as it once was, and he is dressed in black of a priest. Despite her mood, her obvious need to lash out at something, she has to smile, because Norman was one of the bright points of her childhood, one of her father's friends. Her Uncle Norm, the priest with his strange collection of old books, embraces her, tells her that her mother had told him about her disappearance, about Richard, all the things that have gone wrong for her since her father died and she finds herself breaking down in his arms, finally releasing all of the terrible feelings that she has bottled up since she finally stopped in her service as a vessel.

Norman takes her from the church, then, leads her to his house which is only just down the path, settles her in the library while he goes to make her a cup of coffee, allows her time to compose herself, to find a story to tell or an excuse to make and she lets her eyes roam over the books that line the walls, books that she has not seen since she was a child and she gets to her feet, reaches up and takes one down, immersing herself in it. She is so deeply concentrated on the book that she does not hear Norman return, does not even notice the coffee that he sets next to her until he touches her hair, smiles and leaves her to her reading.

She reads for hours, moving around the room, to the desk so that she can take notes. Norman persuades her to stay that night, the night after and the night after that, for a week, for two weeks, while she makes her way through the books and when he asks what she is looking for she tells him that she is trying to rediscover her faith. He accepts that, it makes her feel terrible, but he accepts it, does not push, does not question and she is grateful for it.

Eventually, one night, she falls asleep over an open book, eyes having drooped closed over the course of ten minutes until her head is rested on the ancient paper and soft snores escape her. She is so far under that she does not feel the air shift or hear the beat of heavy wings, does not notice the soft brush of pale fingers against her forehead as the angel who has appeared pushes her deeper into sleep, deep enough that he can tilt her back in the chair without waking her.

His clothes are immaculate and his black hair is neat and close cropped, brown eyes narrowed as he gestures and the pages in the book flip until they lie open on fresh page, the words shifting and distorting until they say what he _wants_ them to say, not what they _should_ say. He glances at her, lays her head back on the page, whispers something to her, voice so soft that it does not carry then brushes her forehead again.

"Wake," he breathes and is gone in a flutter of wings and a rush of air as she stirs, looks blearily at the page and read the words he has left there, reaches for her phone and hits one on her speed dial.

"Sam? I found it."

SPN

Lucifer paces the room, looks at the demon who has brought the news of their failure against a cohort of angels. He gestures and another steps forward, a demon who's eyes flash red and he motions with one hand, the sound of dog snarling fills the room and the demon and meat suit are ripped to pieces before them. He is beginning to think that the only way to do this is to do it himself.

He is spared the musings and the resulting aggravation by the ringing of Sam's cell phone in his pocket, the cell phone that he keeps charged because he knows that it helps to prevent the friends of the Winchester family from getting suspicious. When he hears what this girl, this Katie, has to say, however, he knows that it is time to stop lying low and start taking action.

Dean and Castiel are imprisoned in the same room, for ease more than anything else. The human has free movement about the room and Castiel is slumped in the middle, surrounded by traps and wards designed to bind angels. Dean does not move much these days, simply sits and stares at Castiel, his eyes glazed with confusion and fear and the angel is no more responsive, the set of him defeated, his eyes dull and exhausted. Lucifer smirks at that, enjoys that he has broken Heaven's weapon and his pet, that he has the human tied to him and obedient, jumping to his commands, though there is resistance there. Thing is, just as demon blood makes humans strong, makes them powerful, the blood of angels steals strength and will, takes all that makes humans, _human_ and Lucifer likes that. Likes taking from humans what makes them favoured and twisting their will to his darkness.

"Put these on," he commands, throwing cowled robes in their direction, Dean obeying thoughtlessly and Castiel doing the same after a moment of hesitation, a moment where Lucifer silently assures him that he will kill Dean before the other angel's eyes, kill him slowly and painfully and make Castiel watch every moment. Knows Castiel obeys because he thinks that as long as Dean is alive there is a chance, a small sliver of hope that they will be able to escape and kill Lucifer.

In his pride, Lucifer knows that it cannot be so.

_**Sparkling angel, I couldn't see  
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.  
Fallen angel, tell me why?  
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review_ _that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	3. Chapter 3

_I have no excuses, only apologies. I ment to get this done last week, then half of my all time favourite slash pairing (more than Dean/Cas because it is_ actually_ canon) got killed off without a single spoiler or hint. Ianto's death broke my brain, that is all I am saying, damn Torchwood. I've also been looking at the future storyline and changing things, I might have a whole other arc to take with this, it is going to kill me._

_Enough of my rambling though, lets get on with it._

**I see the angels,  
I'll lead them to your door  
There's no escape now  
No mercy no more  
No remorse cause I still remember**

"Sam? I found it." She is gathering pieces of paper and ancient tomes together as she talks, shoving papers into her bag and the books haphazardly back onto their shelves, making sure that she puts the book she needs in with the papers, promises herself that she will return it to Norman as soon as she can, as soon as the apocalypse is averted.

She is excited, this is exactly what she has been looking for since she left Ellen's, a way to banish Lucifer back to Hell again, and she is so caught up in her excitement that she does not notice that Sam's voice does not quite carry the same warmth that it usually does, that he seems annoyed at her discovery rather than relieved. Too excited to notice the intensity with which he demands to know her location, how he demands that she meet him without researching it anymore. She simply agrees to it, reasons that Sam and Dean know far more about this sort of thing than she does anyway and she should simply trust in his judgement.

So she does, she bundles up the book and papers, tosses her phone and purse back into her bag and digs out her car keys, scribbles a quick note to Norman, thanking him, apologising for leaving so suddenly, for taking the book, for not telling him the entire truth, making vows and promises to tell him everything when she returns, promises that she knows in her heart of hearts she will not be able to keep. She does not dwell on it, goes to her room and flings clothing and belongings into the tiny duffel that now contains her entire life, her whole world wrapped up in a car and a bag, borrowed rooms and stolen money. Not where she had hoped to end up as a child and certainly not what she wants to be doing when all of this is over, but aware, painfully so, that she can never be normal again.

She is in the car in under thirty minutes, spares a last glance at the house she had allowed to become her home for the last two weeks, the last part of her old life that still lingers, and starts the car, drives away and in the rear view mirror she sees Norman's bedroom light flicker on, feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and ignores it. She has somewhere to go and somewhere to be and the last thing she needs is to wait until morning.

Katie drives, she drives until she cannot drive any further, until the only thing that is keeping her going is air and adrenaline and the need to find a place to sleep for the night. For the first time she ends up squatting. She does not sleep well, half worried about getting caught, but mostly it is the dreams, visions of fire and destruction, screams of women and children, desperate cries of men, the stench of death all around her and it is her voice issuing the commands, her hands that hold blades and instruments, her body that shakes with laughter. She wakes up gasping and crying, sobs wracking her body and loneliness filling her heart and not for the first time she wishes that she had not left Ellen's, wishes that she was not alone.

She gets up early the next day, rolls out of the borrowed bed while it is still dark outside, takes a quick shower and is gone before the sun has even begun to peek over the horizon. Truth be told, she hates driving, has _never_ liked it and wishes that finding what she needs did not mean driving all over the country in a beat up old mustang. Still, she does it because she feels she has to, feels she has a part in all of this, former vessel or not, and she intends to see it all through.

After two days of hard travel she reaches the motel that Sam told her to stay at in the middle of the afternoon, collapses onto the king sized bed of the room decorated by someone with dubious taste and allows herself to catch an hour of sleep. She is still plagued by the nightmares and eventually rises, going to get a quick shower before she heads into town to find a bar, the bar that Sam told her he would meet her in when she arrived. Steps under the hot water that never lasts long enough and lets the spray run over her face and hair, enjoys the feeling and begins to sing softly, so lost in her own world that she does not hear the door open.

SPN

Castiel knows that this is wrong, that following Lucifer, as they walk from the building they have been imprisoned in for too long, is going to lead to an outcome that is not only undesirable, but will ultimately prove to be the end of the world as they know it. He wants to stop this, he truly does, is not certain why the other angels have not intervened by now, knows that Dean is needed to win this war and that he is woefully ill equipped to help him or save him. In this moment, Castiel wishes that he had not disobeyed, wishes that he had refused to listen to Dean and remained in Heaven, cold, impassive and utterly emotionless. Perhaps, then, this would not have happened.

He has seen it all, seen the way that Lucifer will withhold the blood from Dean until the last possible moment, just to hammer home how much he can control the mortal, has seen the things that Dean has been ordered to do, seen the way that Dean fights it all as much as he can. Castiel is getting desperate now, has formed a plan that relies completely on Lucifer's pride, hopes that of all things he has seen and all that he once knew of his fallen brother, this will remain the most consistent.

Dean is twitching a little as he follows the former Lightbringer, Castiel hopes that Lucifer does not notice it. It is almost time for Dean to be given the blood again, to keep him under Lucifer's control and thus prevent the broken angel from trying anything to free him. All Castiel needs is a moment, just a moment alone with Dean without traps and binding, because he is desperate enough now to try anything.

Lucifer is prideful, but he is not stupid, he does not leave them alone for a moment, even when he orders Dean behind the wheel of the Impala, gestures for Castiel to get into the back as he slides in next to his vessel's brother, a bizarre and terrible parody of what had once been. It breaks Castiel's soul even more to see this, to _feel_ the evil that resides within Sam and the fear and horror that is settling inside Dean, just beneath the surface below the haze of confusion and stolen will.

The human drives, because he can do nothing else, has no other choice than to obey Lucifer's commands and words, to follow like a child where his brother's body leads and Castiel needs to make this stop, he needs to repay his debt to Dean, for all of Dean's kindness and understanding, he needs to _save_ Dean, before it is too late, before the damage that Lucifer is doing is irreversible. Before Dean dies, or loses all that makes him who he is. Castiel cannot allow that, even if he has to make sacrifices, even if he has to hurt Sam, maybe even kill him, Castiel will not allow Dean to die and the world to fall into darkness.

He is baffled about why Lucifer has chosen to bring them with him for this task, he has demons that Castiel is certain would be far better suited, but when they pull up at a motel, Lucifer has arranged Sam's face into some semblance of the easy smile and gentle eyes that Castiel had become familiar with and it is immediately clear that there is more to this. He gestures and all three pull deeply cowled hoods over their faces, Castiel glancing over at Dean to see that the human is still shaking a little, a constant tremor that will shortly become completely noticeable even to Lucifer so whatever it is that they are doing, Castiel either needs it to be done quickly, or to give him just a moment alone with Dean.

Lucifer knocks, _actually knocks_, on the motel room door, and though Castiel cannot see his face, he knows that the fallen one will have a look of disgust on those handsome features now, if only for a moment. He is relieved, momentarily, when the door does not open, but only for a moment, because Lucifer touches the handle and there is a click, a creak and they are inside. It is immediately apparent why Lucifer has gone to this trouble, the items in the room are Katie's the sense of her here is just on the edge of his awareness, in the way that she has been since Seraphiel died within her.

He knows what Lucifer wants now, knows why he has come for her himself rather than entrusting her to one of his lackeys, though how he found out about her, about her significance, Castiel does not know, because it is not something that he would just be able to glean from Sam's mind, the youngest Winchester would not have known the meaning. Lucifer is distracted, though, for just a moment and Castiel takes the opportunity to swipe what he needs from the satchel she has left by the door; a small penknife and an old book that smells faintly of grace, hopes that his own will hide it.

The sound of running water tells them all where Katie is and Lucifer begins to go through her bags, searching for something, ordering Dean to the bathroom to get her, take her to the car by any means necessary as long as she is alive. To Castiel's amazement, Dean hesitates, shakes his head and the angel knows that this defiance cannot end well for them, Lucifer is armed, angry and he will always be dangerous. So he is not surprised when he sees a flash of silver a feels the point of a blade pressed against his neck, hears Lucifer hiss that he only needs one of them and Dean had better do as he is told before he makes good on that. The blank look is back and Dean nods, opening the door and walking through.

"Make sure he does it," Lucifer orders, shoving Castiel into the steamy bathroom.

_**The smile when you tore me apart  
You took my heart,  
Deceived me right from the start.  
You showed me dreams,  
I wished they'd turn into real.**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review_ _that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	4. Chapter 4

_There is one more chapter after this one, then we'll be onto the next installment where, hopefully, I'll be less sporadic, depending entirely on how much more insane my social life can possibly go_

_**You broke a promise and made me realize.  
It was all just a lie.  
Could have been forever.  
Now we have reached the end.**_

Katie screams when Dean grabs her from the shower, kicks and bites, writhes and struggles and scratches at his arms while he drags her from the bath and Castiel grabs a towel to wrap around her. He flinches as Dean bangs her head against the sink, effectively knocking her out, silencing her shrieks and Castiel can already feel the shame at his actions in this, his inactions too, because coerced or not, he has still participated in this because Dean's continued safety, relative safety, his life, such as it now is, should _not_ be as dependant on the lives and obedience of others as it has become, should not be the reason that Castiel will aid in the loss of everything for this girl.

They are alone, however, and while Dean is distracted with lowering the sudden dead weight in his arms Castiel pulls up a sleeve and slashes at his arm with the knife, which he shoves deep into the pocket of the jacket he still wears underneath the robe, before scooping the thick, warm, liquid that flows out of the wound into one hand and pressing it to Deans mouth, forcing it between marginally parted lips, preventing him from shouting, and praying, for the first time since he disobeyed, that this will be enough to over ride Lucifer's control.

"Remain silent," he hisses, moving his hand away and stooping to pull the towel he had dropped tight around the unconscious woman, seeing the blood on his palm mingling with water and her own blood from the head wound Dean has given her, almost missing the tingle of remembered power as her skin brushes his. To his relief, Dean does as he commands, the minute tremors that had been racing through him lessening enough that they are no longer noticeable. "Until I tell you otherwise, continue to obey Lucifer's commands," he whispers, sees Dean nod then pick the girl up from the floor, his face completely blank once more, his eyes almost unseeing and Castiel whispers an apology before he follows him from the room.

Lucifer is still searching, still hunting for whatever else it is that has brought him to this place, tells them to put her down without looking at them. He is preoccupied enough that he does not see Dean glance at Castiel, see the other angel's sharp nod to indicate that the human should do as he is told, should lay Katie on the bed as Lucifer instructed. Both stand to one side, Dean still staring ahead, unseeing, unmoving, Castiel watching his brother keenly, following his increasingly aggravated searching until he reaches the satchel that Castiel took book and knife from and the angel tenses, watches for any hint that Lucifer knows what he has taken, but the fallen one simply smiles, pulls out several sheets of paper and flips through them.

The smile becomes one of triumph after a moment and with mounting horror Castiel realises that Lucifer had not come to take the girl for a vessel, really had no idea of Katie's significance, he had simply wanted whatever was written on those papers, papers which have burst into flames and turned to ash in his hands, ash which drops to the floor and takes all hope that Castiel has dared to allow with it. Lucifer then turns to the girl on the bed, going to her and sitting by her side, trailing a hand down her face and neck, long fingers brushing her loose, wet, hair to one side and if Castiel did not know better, did not know that Lucifer despises humanity and all that it is, blames them for his imprisonment, jealous that they had become the favoured in his Father's eyes, he would think that Lucifer were curious about her. Curious about the female form that is so much smaller and so much more delicate than the body he inhabits.

"Interesting," Lucifer's voice is a low purr, one that sends shivers even through Dean, his fingers tracing the perfect, raised flaw that is the scar given to her by Zachariah. "Bring her." He orders and Dean does, because there is nothing else that he can do, he has been told to follow orders, he is a good soldier, he obeys, carries Katie to the car and lays her gently on the back seat as Castiel slides in the other side. Then they drive, back to the warehouse, back to imprisonment and uncertainty and not for the first time since Lucifer took them, Castiel hopes to be killed.

They are returned to their cell, Katie is taken from them and Castiel finds himself oddly grateful that she remains unconscious, that she does not have to see this terrible thing that Lucifer has caused Sam to become, that he has forced _all_ of them to become. Dean is ordered to his corner, his dark hiding place where he stares at nothing and awaits his next order and Castiel is once again imprisoned in the remade trap, where he falls to his knees in something like despair and tries desperately to think of their next move. He needs to get Katie away from Lucifer, needs to get _Dean_ away from Lucifer because that man is their only hope, a hope that cannot work with the blood of angels in his veins and the very enemy he is to defeat living inside the stolen body of a brother that means more to him than his own life.

Whilst inside the trap, his movement is restricted, with just enough room for him to kneel so that he can, as Lucifer said, '_pray to a Father who neither hears nor cares about the cries of his most deserving children_'. Castiel does not pray, not because he does not believe in his Father any longer, but because he is afraid that the others will hear, that they will come for Dean and abandon him to Lucifer's tortures, is ashamed of the fear and understanding of it, convinces himself that it is as much for Dean's sake as for his own, for the sake of mankind. The others will force Dean to recover from the effects of Lucifer's blood alone, locked away and forgotten until he is needed, and then they will force Dean to kill him with no thought to who he inhabits, the effect it will have on Dean or the wishes of the man, his desire to save _all_ of humanity.

He knows he has to save them both, prevent Lucifer from taking a vessel that no one will be able to force him to leave and killing the one man who can defeat him. He does not have a plan, but sometimes not having such a thing is the better way.

_**  
This world may have failed you,  
It doesn't give you reason why.  
You could have chosen a different path in life.**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review_ _that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


	5. Chapter 5

_So this is it, the final chapter in this installment of the Verse. Next up within the week will be What Have You Done. One day I will work my way to a happy ending and do away with all this angst, until then I'm afraid I will continue to depress you all and myself, darn. Again, thanks to all my readers and reviewers and alerters and hopefully I'll see you all at the next one._

_**The smile when you tore me apart.  
You took my heart,  
Deceived me right from the start.**_

Lucifer looks at the girl he has brought to this place, the girl who had unknowingly sought him out. As with all humans he sees little beauty about her, little to give him any indication of his Father's reasoning behind declaring Man the favourite and His angels, His most loyal children nothing more than emotionless shells, and even by human standards there is nothing overly special about her, though his unwilling host had some form of tender feeling towards her that Lucifer is finding it hard to identify.

She is clad in a black robe now, one that is too large for her small body but it is better than the towel, because if Lucifer finds the clothed humans distasteful, he sees even less beauty and feels even more disgust in the presence of naked ones. He ponders the differences between these two forms, these two bodies. The female is small, slight, almost _fragile_, even though to Lucifer _all_ humans are fragile. The male, this Sam, is tall, well built and _strong_, far stronger than he had credited him to be and there is a small part of him that will be sorry to lose the intimidating power that this vessel holds, the way that it's very _size_ can be used to Lucifer's advantage without his evening having to _touch_ his blackened grace.

While he enjoys the sheer size of Sam, the way that his body moves fluid under Lucifer's command, it is still a vessel, a shell that he can be flung out of at anytime and such an action would weaken him, would leave him open and vulnerable and he cannot allow that, cannot allow himself to be cast out and forced to take an unsuitable body again until he can find another strong enough. This girl is already marked, is already a closed vessel, once he is in, he will only be able to leave if _he_ choses it and all of his strength shall remain his own. Really, he should make the switch now, while the girl is unconscious and firmly within his grasp, just as he should kill Dean now, should destroy Castiel and begin to concentrate more fully on releasing the full might of his army from Hell and allowing the chaos of it to sooth his troubled being and petulant anger at his Father.

Except that there is something very satisfying about all of this, about letting the demons currently free race around and kill and maim and destroy because they are so easy to control at the moment, there is so few of them top side and he does not have to devote energy and thought to tens of thousands of them, simply focuses on a few doing a great deal of damage. He needs more, though, needs more to be done and more of the humans who took his Father's eyes from him to be punished, that does not mean that he cannot enjoy himself in the process and part of that will be in forcing Dean and Castiel to watch as he takes control of this girl and uses Sam's blood to crack open one of the sealed gates that this warehouse sits above so that his lieutenants may join him.

"Soon," he breathes to her, soon but he has other things to deal with before conditions are right to open the gateway and release a little more of Hell. "Soon."

SPN

Getting Dean to come closer to the circle is far easier that Castiel had imagined it would be, even with the angel blood in his veins making him more pliable, at this point he is even meek, moving slowly until he is on the edge of the trap, staring across it at Castiel with eyes that, though blank, are not completely vacant. They need to move quickly now, Castiel has control of Dean, control that he had longed to have the whole time that he had been unquestioningly serving Heaven, control that Zachariah had almost turned to using burgers laced with the very same agent that is used now.

Dean reaches for the knife when Castiel holds it up to him, instincts still strong enough in him that despite the angel blood he still takes the offered weapon which will be utterly useless against demon, angel and fallen angel alike. Castiel only hopes that the bow, _his_ bow, is still where they hid it in the Impala, not under the false bottom in the trunk, but under the back seat, in a compartment that Dean had taken valuable time on the run to install in the safety of Bobby's junkyard. Castiel cannot even recall whether or not they actually _did_ tell Sam about it.

The barrier created by the sigils hurts Castiel when he touches it, something that he avoids doing at all costs, has already suffered more pain in his existence than anyone should ever have to and he is trying so hard not to let the despair take him, these sigils that confine him being similar to the ones that kept him powerless when he was tortured. It is almost enough to paralyse him, enough to make him panic, for the first few days he had, had pulled himself together by telling himself that he needed to for Dean's sake. It comes as a relief, therefore, when Dean scrapes the knife through the marks on the floor, hard enough to mark the concrete underneath, the power around him evaporates and for the second time that day Castiel feels the tattered remnants of his grace come back to him. It is quicker this time, but still only a trickle of power, not enough for Castiel to have a hope of defeating Lucifer, just enough that if he can focus it he can get them to the car.

Unfortunately before they can make good on their escape, they need to find Katie and finding her in this place will be problematic, with demons roaming the halls and the risk of running into Lucifer. Still, they have to try it and their luck is working for them because the door is not locked, Lucifer's pride on their side because he believes Dean under his control and Castiel unable to escape from his trap and they are able to walk out with little more than a quick glance to either side of them, trying to decide which direction to take and with Dean in his current predicament they cannot split up to find her. He tilts his head, listens for sound of other approaching them, too many demons in the building for him to be able to sense them coming, his fractured grace overwhelmed by their numbers.

There is no one coming so he takes advantage of the moment, tells Dean to keep watch and with a muttered half prayer draws gently on his grace, touches it briefly and feels the ragged edges of it cut and stab at him and he almost sobs at how hard this is, how difficult it is to do something that once came so easily. It all brings closer to home just how much he has given up, how much he has sacrificed for Dean and for a brief moment he wishes that he could take it all back. He renews his grip on his grace, grapples with it until he manages to do what he wants to, to find the faint pulse of the only soul in the building other than Dean's that is even remotely close to human.

It would seem that her time as a vessel, the death of an angel inside her has materially altered Katie in a way that Castiel had never before realised, there is still an element of Seraphiel in her, and element that makes it all that much more important to get her away from Lucifer, so that he never has the opportunity to combine that power with his own. For Castiel, however, this might just be the thing that he needs to get them out, provided that he gets to her before Lucifer does, before Lucifer gets to _them_. It hurts to do this, makes a sweat break out on the forehead of the body that was once a vessel, the body that is now his, but he holds onto it, holds onto the sense of her, pushes himself to move through the pain, to get Dean to follow him as he makes his way towards Katie and his only hope of freeing them.

She is alone when he reaches her prison, a large room with a high ceiling, alone and tied on top of a table, a heavy black robe similar to the ones that Castiel and Dean wear covers her and her face is pale, her eyes dull. Dried blood is caked into her still damp hair and streaks down her cheeks, looking disturbingly like tear tracks. The wound on her head from the impact with the sink has stopped bleeding, but there is an ugly bruise there, raised in purples and blacks. When she sees them she whimpers, her eyes sharpening for a fraction of a second before they fade out into despair again.

Castiel orders Dean to cut her free, to help her stand, knows that she will be concussed, probably seriously, that she needs a hospital and that they have no way of getting her there, will have to ask Dean how to deal with it once they have escaped, if they can escape. There is the sound of a footstep behind them and Castiel turns, sees one of Lucifer's demons behind him, can _feel_ the age of her, sees scarlet slide over the iris of her kidnapped body's eyes. They all freeze, a smirk slides across the demon's face and Katie trembles in Dean's arms, Castiel feels desperation grip him, they are so close, so very close to gaining their freedom and in a moment of blind faith he grabs hold of both of them, draws on the spark of grace that he feels lingering within the human woman and pulls, drags them all from the room and from the demon. Drops them outside and close enough to the Impala that when Katie collapses in Dean's arms and Castiel feels his legs begin to slide from under him, he can drag himself to the car, the door unlocked, the keys in the ignition almost as if Lucifer was expecting this, almost as though he wanted this. Castiel does not question it, merely orders Dean to drive, to take them away from this place, take them somewhere that they can hole up, away from Lucifer, quiet, alone, to heal, to rest, to plan.

The book that feels so ancient and tingles with grace pokes into Castiel's side as he shifts in the front seat. That book is their last hope, hope to save Sam, hope to stop Lucifer and hope to save the world.

_**You showed me dreams,  
I wished they'd turn into real.  
You broke a promise and made me realize.  
It was all just a lie.  
Could have been forever.  
Now we have reached the end.**_

_Reviews are little Castiels that fly above our heads and mini Deans under the bed. A small Sam in hand and a tiny John by the chair, a review_ _that can show how much you care._

_Artemis_


End file.
